It is almost that dreaded time of life in our house... Potty Training Time!!! There is nothing that strikes unease in any parent's mind more than the thought of potty training, but it really is a simple thing that
you don't have to fear as long as you know what you are doing. So here are my potty training tips that helped my children to
train in a matter of a day or 2 with very few accidents....
First and foremost, just like Yoda says "Do or do not, there is no try!" Potty training is all or nothing. If you want to set a child on the potty just to see if they are interested that is fine, but when you actually train there is no going back. If you give up, so will your child and you will have to start all over again... and the next time it will be significantly harder!!!
Second there is a magic age for potty training. I don't know how many times I have talked to parents who think that if they wait till their child is older they will potty train faster... but this philosophy is usually proven incorrect. It turns out that when you wait till your child is older they have learned that it is easier to just go in their pants then to take the time to go and find the potty and do their business there. They have grown accustomed to going in their pants and find it preferable to interrupting play time. Plus they are less motivated by praise and the idea of rewards. Three and four year olds live in the here and now, being completely driven by whatever instincts hold their attention. They do not understand the concept of pausing their activities to pee, and do not remember in the here and now that they will be rewarded for doing so.
I have found that
the magic age for potty training children is around 2 for girls, and a little closer to 2 1/2 for boys. For various reasons, when the child is around the age of 2 they not only know how to potty, but they are extremely excited about it and motivated to do so. Of course this varies some if you have a little genius or if your child was a premie and/or late developer. However, don't stray too far from those ages. Children start to figure out the concept of going potty pretty early, it is just a natural thing. They don't realize yet that it is inconvenient, and are too excited about doing something new.
Third, training potties are worth their weight in gold! Toilets are made for adults: they are loud, scary, and inconvenient for toddlers. I am a little uncomfortable by little potties that look more like a toy as I am afraid that would be confusing to a young child, so try and find one that looks more like a legitimate potty. (It doesn't need a flusher, just a good seat that isn't smiling at them like their stuffed animals do...) My secret for potty training success is to always
have the potty in whatever room the child is in. While your child is watching tv put it in the family room with them, when they go down for a nap put it in their bedroom, if they are doing crafts at the table put it next to them, if they are playing in their play area put it in there with them! If the child sees the potty than they are more likely to remember to use it when the need arises. Now you can reinforce that by asking the child every 20-30 minutes if they need to use it, but I find that even without asking, just seeing the potty there is usually enough to help them remember.
Training potties are worth the investment!!!
Once your child is potty trained you can usually transition them to using the "big potty" fairly easily. If they are just terrified of the big potty you want to have them slowly ease into it.
Do not force them to do something they are afraid of or they will revert back to their original behavior and you will have a heck of a time trying to get them re-trained!!! Try to show them it is a safe environment. Usually the fear of big potties is the flushing, let them see the toilet flush frequently so they can learn that it isn't as scary as they thought.
Lastly,
DO NOT USE PULL-UPS!!! (Except overnight or for long nap times, but as soon as the child wakes put them right back in their undies!) If a child has the option of peeing in their pants they will take it.
Start using real underwear on day one, and don't ever go back, not even if you are just running to the store! I highly suggest spending the extra money to get some underwear that has the child's favorite characters on it as they are much more motivated to keep their underwear clean if it is extra special to them.
Now, I believe that natural consequences are the best teacher. I find that rewards other than praise aren't necessary. They are really too young to realize the correlation of getting rewarded for their behavior, but do understand praise very well especially if it is immediately given. Get excited and praise them through the roof the first few times they get it. Continue to be excited and praise them the first few days, and they will have enough motivation to do it without expectations. If they do slip up and have an accident show them that you are disappointed, ask them if it feels yucky, and be extra careful to keep reminding them for the next time. If you get angry and upset they will learn to fear having an accident, it will most likely occur again (possibly more frequently), and they will only learn to try and hide it from you.
Also, for little boys I highly suggest having them sit to pee. When they are so little it is IMPOSSIBLE to aim. If you have them stand and hold it to aim you will be cleaning up pee everywhere!!! Have them start by sitting, and once they have the hang of that than you can have them try standing. I suggest not having them hold it, but teaching them to stand above the toilet with their back arched and belly sticking out, this way it naturally arcs in the right direction without making a big mess.
I have had other mothers who argue the other way around (that the child is more excited to pee standing rather than sitting), but I think it is easier to get them going in the potty before factoring aim into it. The only problem with sitting is that you have to make sure they are pointed down before they go or they will still soak their undies, pants, and half the floor...
Now even with these tips
you are still going to be cleaning up accidents. You need to
be physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared to do so. Luckily if you catch them at the correct age and readiness there will be very few accidents, but nonetheless it WILL happen no matter what! You will have to clean up puddles on the floor, you will have to rinse poop out of their undies, sometimes you will even just throw away a pair of undies that just isn't worth trying to save. You have to be prepared to handle these situations before you start potty training so that you don't let them revert back to diapers. Like I said earlier, if they have the option of using a diaper or pull-up they will take it no matter what! And the next time you try potty training it will be harder and take longer for them to catch on.
My first born followed my basic rules and was potty trained in 2 days!!!
My son potty trained himself when he was 2 1/2. I had tried once or twice to "see if he was ready" by sitting him on our training potty, and had left it out being too lazy to put it away. One night he just came up to me and said I want to use the potty. I set him on there, he went, and thought it was great. Then the next morning he wanted to do it again, and actually used the potty all the next day, and after that he was trained. However, he did this just a few weeks before we moved to a new state. Knowing how hard it is to travel with a newly potty trained toddler I stuck him in a pull-up while we drove to avoid accidents and too frequent stops and he reverted back to being un-potty trained. We had to start all over and that time it took weeks to train him...
Please learn from my successes and mistakes. Potty training does not have to be hard.
You can do it. Or should I say... Your toddler can do it!!!
